Today is the perfect day for a good run.
Should I stretch?
What constitutes “warming up”?
*Touches toes* Good to go!
What running playlist though?
Earbuds in and cord strategically tucked into sports bra. Check.
I’m doing 6 miles at a brisk pace.
Look at me go!
Watch out for the cars.
WATCH OUT FOR THE CARS!
Whew, made it across the street.
My legs are killing me. I should have warmed up.
My lungs are killing me.
My shoulders are tired.
How can my ears sweat from the inside?!
Runners are so friendly.
I’ll wave to you, I’ll wave to you, and I’ll wave to you.
You don’t look like a real runner — no wave for you.
My lungs hurt.
There’s sweat dripping into my eyes.
There goes my left ear bud. Let the awkward run/walk/stuff-foreign-object-back-into- ear portion of the run commence.
Another round of cars — better pick up the pace.
My form is terrible.
I run like an ostrich.
I am an ostrich.
This is embarrassing.
I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY ARMS!
I’ve probably run at least 3 miles by now. *checks watch* Oh, only .75 miles. Cool.
Short run today, girl!
1.25 miles left. You’ve got this.
1.24 miles left. Still going strong.
1.20 miles left. Maybe today should just be a miler?
Whoa, she’s fast. I can be fast!
I can’t be fast. Not today.
This run is doing great things for my body.
“Now if we’re talking body.”
I love Tove Lo. Wonder if she’s on tour…
Is Tove Lo just a fun play on To Love? Cause that’s super cute.
I’m eating so many chips when I’m done with this run.
I’m going to puke first, then chips.
All. Of. The. Chips.
This guy is cute so I’m going to pretend like my body isn’t cramping and revolting against exercise and run a little bit faster.
Terrible logic. I passed him, but now there is no possible way I can keep this pace.
Death would be preferable to the mortifying reality I’m living right now.
I’m just going to casually turn around and pretend this is the 5-mile end of my line.
Why do I even bother? My palms and knees are scratched and Tove Lo won’t be writing any songs about my body now.
Why do I do this to myself?
I used to be so good at this.
Oh, I’m home. Running is awesome; I think I’ll go again tomorrow.